Hello my beautiful followers!
This post may be long so i just want to say my keybord is fucked and if there are letters missing ect it's not me being a dumb fuck it's the keybord okay?
So where to begin? So much has happened since the last time i posted. I told my 'boyfriend' about everything basically. No i hadn't plannd it out, it just happened. Well what happened was i got very drunk at this party and had mental breakdown. I am not even joking. I was struggling a lot that day and i binged and purged all day and i had enough. I started to cry and it never stopped for about an hour maybe even more. I told him about my purging which has become a very big part of my life. I also talked about my suicide attempt. He really does care and if you are wondering whether or not to tell somone about your problems, do it. They will be scared but they will do anything to help you get better. We have talked a lot and i have promised him to try and stop. So i guess that brings me to now. I am going to start restricting again. I have gained so much fucking weight from all the binging and purging. This weight needs to go! I have just sat for about an hour looking up meals under 200 kcal. I need to tone up and have a nice body. I can't live in this body anymore. I know stopping purging is going to be so difficult so i've said to myself that i will only purge my evening meal if it is over 200 kcal. Eventually i shouldn't feel the need to anymore. But purging has gotten so bad that i have recently got a throat infection. That scared me and i realised it is real.
I'm sorry i don't post on here often but i do go on instagram everyday and i post long captions about my life and there are pictures of me on there which shows the great state my body is in ugh. My username is: tearsofananorexic.
Okay i'm going to go now and i promise to post more so i don't have to keep doing these breif updates and go into some details!
Bekah
xxx