Hello,
So now that I've changed my blog name/display picture they may be some confusion to who I am. I used to be 'My Secret Called Anorexia' and this is now my recovery blog.
Wow I say recovery like it's an easy thing. Recovery is always going to be a hard road and I am fighting even if it doesn't seem like that and I'm still losing weight but whatever.
I just hope that I don't lose any followers. I am here for you guys and you can ask me anything and I will be here to answer.
For a while, my posts are all going to be me updating on what's happened or I could just jump right in there to the here and now. I think I'll do that actually with a little update because well the past is the past and we don't want to focus on that, I need to focus on the future!
Well I've finished all my GCSE's, It was actually a month ago that they all ended today. Also a month ago today since I took my overdose. So a month in treatment already, wow. Anyways, I'm not just waiting for results but I'm trying not to focus on that too much.
I'm just focusing on recovery. Well, that's the only thing that I have to focus on or off to hospital I go. Ever since my last suicide attempt and my therapist finding out that I was holding a large amount of pills waiting to swallow them all at once on the 30th, I've been on 24 hour supervision basically. My therapist comes daily and it sucks. I hate it. It was only yesterday when I was left alone for 3 hours that I realized how fragile I am. I know that I can't do this on my own but at 16 years old it's really difficult to not have ANY time to your self. Sometimes, I just wished that they would put me in hospital to get away from my parents.
Well I'm starting on anti-depressants next week. The anti-depressants that I'm going to take however have risks of increasing mania (i'm bipolar type 2) and they are unsure whether I was misdiagnosed or not. So it's basically like wait and see if I go manic. So that's going to be fun. But anti-depressants can actually increase suicidal behavior. So that will also be a blast. I really don't want to take medication to be able to control my mood for the rest of my life. I'm going to be dependent on them. Well, I don't think I have a choice in the matter anyways, I never have before.
Okay, I'll stop boring everyone now.
If you want to talk or anything here are ways to contact me:
Instagram: @shehaslostcontrol OR @paleandbruised
Twitter: @sadsweethear
Tumblr: tearsofabulimic.tumblr.com
KIK: myemptysoul_
I am here for you and I will listen.
Bekah
xxx
Omg.. I really hope you are ok., I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you at all.. I hope you are ok.. It must be hard being constantly watched.. Hang in there babe! xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm fine love, thank you. I'm struggling but I'm alive so that's good. It's very hard ha. Thank you for your support. I hope you've been doing okay <3
DeleteI've been diagnosed as bipolar agree years of misdiagnosed as depressed. Antidepressants made me manic and I have spent 3 stays (not 3 days, 3 apostate trips to 3 different hospitals) in those hellholes known as psych wards. Ok, well one was quite lovely, but the other two made jail seem lovely. Be careful taking the medication. If you don't feel right on it, say something as soon as possible to your parents or doctor or counselor or whomever you feel comfortable telling. Or if you have an unpleasant side effect, that is reason enough to try something else. I took amitryptiline (probably spelled that wrong) and it made me bruise really fucking easy. I liked like I had been beat up. Not cool. Reason enough to stop. I don't need my employer or friends or family thinking someone is abusing me. Speak your mind. You will need to. You know more about you than your doctor. There is more than one group of antidepressants. Ask whether you took an ssri mediation or tricyclic mediation or what. You don't have to understand the words or how they work. Just ask the category of antidepressant and if 2 or 3 don't work, ask to try a new category or add on a medication. I've taken an antidepressant with abilify, seroquel, lithium, ect. It might help. If you can't stand the thought of taking a pill everyday, put the effort into counseling and work on coping skills. If you think your mess are working, great. Do not let the doctor up your dose unless you feel you need it. If you want to talk you can email me at littlelacylace@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteYeah I'm very scared about taking medication and I will for sure tell anyone if I get funny side-effects. Thank you for that information, it's always helpful to hear others experiences and it's great advice. Thank you lovely <3
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