Recovery. That is my road now. I need to rcove from these 'bulimic' tendancies. This means i am going to have to eat more. I need to stop eating so low, then losing control. 800-900 calories is now my limit. It seems so high and scary. One step at a time. Of course my main objective is still to lose weight. I mean my body is still repulsive, fat and wobbly as ever. I need to stop using laxatives. The amount i've been taking has been increasing and increasing. On friday night i took 30. Pain, is an under exaggeration. I need to stop purging. I just need to stop. A healthy life is right outside but there is something big blocking the door way. I need to grab that hammer and destroy what is destroying me.
Bekah
xxx
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