I feel so good now, i feel like i am flushing out all of my binge food and starting new for about the 400th time. I really hate how i can control my intake so much better when i am not at school!
Well today, went to Edinburgh for a little shopping trip trying to forget about the rainy day! Well i felt really good this morning, very postitve about my control. I was wearing my high-waisted shorts with my american vest top. Then one stupid uber skinny girl has to be there. Argh i was so jealous of her. My mood was destroyed because of her. Since that moment of seeing her i hated what i was wearing, felt fat and gross and to be honest i wanted to go home and cry. Why can't i be like her, beautiful and perfect.
Anyways, i didn't get any clothes, i was too depressed to try anything on. So i bought the new florence and the machine CD, which i am listening to right. Now i love her voice, it's so natural, not forced at all. I wish being skinny was like that, no trouble. I also got a book about a girl with brittle bone disease, which will surely cheer me up.
Fathers day tomorrow, i guess it should of been fathers day today because i spent the whole day with my dad, the top daughter i am. He will proably go off on his bike tomorrow, i'll be quite glad really, i will be able to workout.
I think now m going to take a bath and paint my nail ect. Just to make myself feel a bit nicer. Haven't stepped on the scales yet. Think i might leave it until monday. See if i have gained, i don't think i will be surpised if i have.
Bekah
xxx
