Downpour

I have never been in such a bad mood as i was this morning! Of course it rained on my walk. But the rain was blowing from one side so one side of me was completly drenched and the other very dry. I had my wellies on thank god, or my feet would of been soaked! I did manage to get a blister before my camping weekend as well! After the walk i had to go shopping. It was awful. People were giving me very weird looks as i was in my wellies, squeeking on the floors! I over spent my £10 budget and had to borrow some of my friends money. I had borrowing money, i always feel really bad for some reason.

My 50th post today! Wow, thats a lot. I have to say i can't believe i have stuck to this. I love blogging, it keeps me focused at times, clears my mind, lets me rant all i want about my eating disorder without people getting worried. This blog has kept me sane!

I got an iphone today! So i will be able to post using my phone, which could be interesting. Not having to delete the search history will be nice haha! Using myfitnesspal on my iphone is so much easier and quicker than the blackberry. I did have a sucky day food day today. I have sort of gave up on my skinny girl diet since i got my period. So my intake today was 780. I am not proud of this but i did walk for about 3/4 hours so i would of burned most of that!

Tomorrow i am going to see a play with my friends which is just a very hard time to try not and binge. It is also hard not to binge around my friends because they eat so much like all the time. I think my friend is so skinny that if she got any thinner she would be a walking piece of paper. I am so jealous of her, most of all because she can eat and not gain at all. Why can't i be like that! I have to stay strong and not binge. This weekend with camping i will be tempted to binge so i have to control myself. I have ate enough this week, i surly cannot be hungry. So wish fasting was easy with people around!

Bekah
xxx

Blink-182 were amazing, i had one of the best nights in a while. Exept my dad was a complete dick taking me to Newcastlem so i am currently not talking to him.

I feel like shit right now. I feel so dizzy and like i'm doing to faint. So I ate shit loads because i thought it was that. Just got worse. I might be tired or something i don't know but it is awfull.

I had my last exam today so i can have a nice relaxing night tonight. So i am just sitting on my arse in bed. Think i might get a hot water bottle and have an early night. How exciting am i! I do have my sposered walk tomorrow. I will burn calories from what i have gained over my last couple of binges. But it is supposed to chuck it down in rain tomorrow *cry* The great british summer time is so lovely isn't it! So there is going to be one wet, fat, sweaty person. I don't want to go might take advantage of me feeling crap at the moment. Try get the day off maybe.

But the lamest thing about this is that i have to go shopping for my last camping trip this weekend. Thank god it's the last one! I really hate the stress of shopping though. Mainly because i don't want to get any food because of obvious reasons and because i hate having to carry it with everything else on my back! My shoulder are going to be dead by the end of sunday!

No more revising yey! Going to bed now at half eight, this is depressing haha.

Bekah
xxx