The day after the binge is always aweful. I had chocolate again today so i binged again! I really hate my self for it. I was walking while eating it though. As soon as i got home i did some sit-ups and lunges ect. Then i had to have dinner. Feel disgusting right now!

Skinny girl diet ain't going so well huh? Well my limit is 400 tomorrow so maybe i will be able to control my cravings. I'm not sure if i should blame me giving in on stress about exams. It's weird every time i think about exams i think about food as well. Whats wrong with me!

I was so pissed off at my dad earlier. I told him i ate a whole bar of chocolate and he said you could of got some fruit or something. Then at dinner i was saying that these veggie sausages were dry and he said why don't you have some sauce. I was like well i don't want any. Then he was like don't you eat sauce anymore? Like he was annoyed that i don't eat or something. But then like 20 minutes before he was basicly saying i was fat, then hes concerned i don't eat enough! His head is just as messed up as mine.

I have my history and chemistry exams tomorrow, so stressed. I am not ready for my science. I feel like that is all i have done for 3 nights! I can resit, but i don't want to i want to be perfect first time. So i guess i will be up late tonight revising my little ass off!


UPDATE: Just done 2 hours of hard hitting revison. You would think that now i would like to go to bed, get a good sleep. NOPE. All i want to do is look at thinspo so i don't binge tomorrow. I will NOT binge tomorrow. I need to stop or i will become more ugly and fat than i already am. After these exams are finished my main thoughts are going to be concentrated on loosing weight. I just finished logging on myfitnesspal today and it says i can be 103lbs in 5 weeks time if i still eat like this. It was a horrible amount of food today, how can i loose that much when i am binging. MIND BLOWN!

Bekah
xxx

WHY DO WE MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES!

Yes i binged today. I acctually ate the sandwich that my mother made for me today and an apple. Oh and 2 sevings of peanuts and maybe same cookies? Through in a twix as well. To round it all of i had a hidious curry. Now i am bloated as hell. I look like i'm pregnant seriously! I guess i binged today because i was minus calories yesterday. Only one day of binging should not effect your weight, well it says that on the internet. I must not binge tomorrow. Pure detox tomorrow. I want all fruit and veggies. Can't believe i've mucked up this diet already! Start over? Maybe i should just carry on and record the days i binge so i can see how often i do. I have not purged today though. I want to though. I don't think rice will be the best though, i might make noise when the parents are in, don't want to make them even more concerned!

Just a quite update today, need to revise for my chemistry exam on friday *cry*. I really want to exercise. So maybe i will give my self half an hour work out to burn some of this shit off! Ugh i feel anxious, like all shaky. Food overload? I think so.

Bekah
xxx