Chaos lives in everything...

556 calories today. I feel like a whale. My calorie intake is okay today but i still feel as though i have binged on loads beacuse of one chocolate bar. It was a KitKat that was 106 calories. My only excuse for having it was because my sister said 'Miss i'm not gunna eat today' she ment it in a jokey way but i feel like she is noticing something. Also, the awkward moment when you walk in to a room and know people have been talking about you? Well that happened when i walked in to the kitchen and my mum and sister fell silent. Does it sound like they are suspecting something, or am i just being paranoid?
  Well the rest of my 556 calories was: Fat Free Yogurt- 118
                                                               Small Apple- 50
                                                               Two Vegaterian Sausages- 202
                                                                Carrots and Borcolli- about 80 cals?
                                                                KitKat (Dark Chocolate) - 106
OMG, looking at that now looks like i've ate loads, tomorrow may be better because my cravings were taimed today from the chocolate. My weight hasn't changed any and i have only purged once since the other day, yes it does yet easier.
  I slpet last night!! I was so happy when i woke up this morning to sunlight! But my sleepyness made me do something stupid and i told my mum i had missed a period and she asked if i was pregnant and blah blah blah, and i told her i wasn't. She said that it can be irreagular sometimes but i feel like i have made her more suspicious? What should i do next month when she asks? Do i say it has came even if it hasn't? My period may just be irreagular but i feel like it could be this disease. It couldn't be though because i eat way to much and i am a fat fucking pig. Argh, i am sick of being stressed about this, i should be normal and stress about exams or something.

To stop my self from binging is remembering what i want and that is perfection. I have taken inspiration from Taylor Momsen, i want to be her...

Wish my stomach was so flat...



Wish my legs where so skinny and long...

Chaos lives in my life fullstop. Lives in food, sleep and my family is just chaotic on its own!