Wednesday 11 April 2012

One thing that changed my life.

This is one thing you cannot talk about with friends/family, therefore why this blog has started. This is my life, and i no longer care. All i want is perfection. I am 118lbs and my goal is 105lbs. I binged and purged for the first time ever yesterday, i did it again today. I made this blog to i can tell somebody about it.
  So i woke up hungry, which is normal now. I had some cereal for breakfast and i wanted to cry, so i just got out all the food i wanted to eat. This included: leftover pizza, chocolate, 3 different chocolate bars and ice cream. Turns out these foods are not easy to bring back up. It hurt bad. Pizza was the worst, lumpy and horrible. The chocolate i couldn't get up at all, so i failed there. I also discovered that ice cream is the best thing to bring back up, so this is now my binge food.
  I cried for about 10-15 minuted afterwards. This is one step in my life that i will never forget.
I binged on yogurt today, i purged it up afterwards and it was easier the second time. I relaised that it will get easier, so hopefully i lose weight quicker.
 So today i have ate 674 calories, which is okay i know i could of done better. I still live with my parents so I have to eat a full meal at night, which sucks!!
  Tomorrow is a new day and i am unsure if i will binge and purge or just calorie restrict tomorrow. One thing i do know is that i won't have lost any weight, one thing i want to go down, fast!!

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