Thursday 12 April 2012

So today i am still 118lbs. I plan to eat 600 cals, i think i have satifited my cravings over the last few days.
  The last few nights, i've had trouble sleeping. I've been waking up at like 5 in the morning and not being able to get back to sleep, so i just get up! This happened yesterday and today. you would think i would be tired!!
 I am late, the first time i've missed m period. I know i am not pregnant and i've been getting really sore stomach pains. Is this just hunger pains or something different? I don't want to tell anybody about it incase i get told to go to the doctor.
  My mum has been driving me insane. Everytime she comes in from work she'll ask what i've ate, so i'll lie. Then at dinner i will say i want certain things and don't want others and she'll go 'You sure thats enough?' She also keeps on saying how much weight i've lost since december and what a lovely 'figure' i have. Is she catching on to something? I wish she would fuck off though because i do not have a lovely 'figure'!!
  One thing she likes though is how much water i drink! Yesterday i drunk 2ltr 250ml of water and 3 cups of green tea! Today already i have had two cups of green tea! But i did have to have some toast and jam because i woke up when she was still in the house!
 
I don't think i've every been thankful for so much homework. All my art, german, geography homework i have means i have distraction to curb my cravings. Its also a great excuse because i can say to my parents that i am way to busy to eat (snacks).

I need a job so fucking much! I am so poor and since i've been off for easter i have spent most of it! I have been to so many places but there is nothing. Well there was a job at the chip shop (gross i know, but it's money) but my dad said that it would be to much for me as i would have to work after school and at the weekend. I thought working at a chip shop would put me off greasy fast food, from being around it all the time. Well i suppose that he will have to keep on giving my money and i will need to be more in control. I don't think i've had chips in over a month, thinking about it i don't know why people like chips, ugh gross!

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