So guys, hey!
Today SUCKED. So what made it so sucky was that i was forced to eat some chocolate. It was one square of a yorkie(60) so i took it to save all the 'you never eat' speach. So i started eating it and i eat like slowly and i take little bites, so my friends started to mock me because of it. Like what? I hate people watching me eat, but people talking about HOW i eat is just 10 times worse. I wanted to purge so badly. I was so happy i had P.E afterward so i could work it off. But that does not mean that it was not consumed. My limit was 200 today and i am 70 over. DAMNIT! So angry at myself. So tomorrow another 200 limit day, i wanted to fast but that is just not gunna happen because of the family.
On weight, i am a fat ass, as you all know. I haven't lost aything in ages, it is doing my fucking head in. So, i have decided to start weigh-in days, which are going to be on fridays. So every friday (or saturday) i will post my weight.....maybe.
I am also going to try going 21 days without binging, purging and cutting. I really am setting my self up for the perfect storm right? Oh well, i am going to try. The first three weeks are always the hardest, so if i get past these 21 days, i may never binge, purge or cut again. Well, you cannot garentee that but i am sure that i won't have the urges like i do now. So if i stop binging and purging i won't really have a reason to cut right? And hopefully i will be like 10 pounds lighter haha! So for the rest of this month i want to loose 10 pounds. Yes it is a lot, but i feel if i set myself a goal i will fight hard to get it! I will get it! So first of october i will be posting a much thinner bekah!
Bekah
xxx
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