Hanging out with my sister today. I can feel the bing coming on already! I need to plan. My parents are away tonight, so if i get my sister not to make dinner i will just skip it out tonight. I know she won't though. Argh i just wish this was easier than it is! I binged last night surpise! I cannot help myself when it comes to peanuts! I have a serious attiction to them! I need to stop. My calorie intake yesterday was 945 yesterday (aweful) So i need to control myself today.

Yesterday i made a mistake by saying something in front of my parents yesterday. We had just finished dinner and this fat girl came on the tele and i said 'Thats enought to put me off food for a year' SHIT! After that i was also complaining that i wanted my stomache to be flatter. SHIT! Now all i have got after my episode is 'Your not fat rebecca, You don't need to loose weight' FUCK OFF. Yes i do! I want to just break down and cry. When i binge i just feel like i block out what the amount of calories i'm eating and i forget how fat i am. I need to think about what my weight is when i want to binge. That will stop me! That is all i'm going to think out today. 118,118,118 FAT,FAT FAT!!