Back from my camping weekend...  I didn't binge as much as i thought i would. 1165 calories for Friday and 1250 for Saturday. I will have burnt a lot of this off though becuase i was walking 3 miles on friday will tent ect on my back and walked about 8 miles on saturday. I only had 5 rows of chocolate, more than i said i would have but it's really hard when doing so much exercise. I also had half pack of fruit pastles. So am okay with eating over 1000 this weekend, i think i might just be saying this so i don't break down haha! I haven't stepped on the scales yet. I don't want to after doing so well the last couple of days and then binging! I even binged this morning. I had some cereal for breakfast and a roll with nutella. I have realised my mistake, all i can do now is try and correct it.

This week is going to be tough. My birthday tomorrow, i don't want to have any cake, i know this will just spark my mum off so i'm going to have to deal with it. I am living with my sister until thursday when i go to paris. So this week i am going to have to be one tough cookie and restrict as much as i can. I believe that i can stay under 1000 tomorrow. For the rest of the week i want to stay under 800 at MOST. When i'm in paris...I have no idea. Being under 1000 calories a day would be fantastic. The only thing is i won't know how many calories are in foods. This is going to drive me mental. There is a continental breakfast, so i hope there is things like fruit not just cooked breakfast. We have to deal with lunch so i want to skip that out completely. Dinner however is going to be difficult to deal with. I need to stay strong.

Off the topic of food. I 'm going to paris on thursday! So excited to see everything. I am going to disneyland aswel. I have to say being the geek i am, i am so excited to go there haha. We are getting the bus there on thursday night, then the ferry in the morning. It is going to be a long drive and i probably won't sleep a wink on the bus. Therefore gorgeous bags under my eyes!

I am nervous about going to paris. It is going to be warm weather and i want to be able to wear shorts. I hate my legs! They are so gross and wobbly *cry* I know this is all i'm going to be thinking about. 'is he looking at my legs?' 'omg, he thinks i'm obese' 'why don't i have any control, my legs are pure proof of what food does to you' Then i will be in a mood the rest of the day, because of one look or another girl having skinnier legs than i do.

When i was on my camping trip someone said to me, 'well your too skinny anyways' YES! I was extatic about that, i don't feel it though. I want to loose 2lbs before i go to paris that would make me 112lbs (hoping i am still 114 after this weekend) I would cry with happiness!

I feel like this post has been all over the place today. I have loads on my mind. So much been going on, camping, birthday, sisters house, paris! So i won't be posting for a while maybe in 2 weeks time? I will have so much to write. I will most likly have some regrets. If i think before i eat your just going to have to make up for this later, i might just avoid it. Wish me luck!

Bekah
xxx