Home Sweet Home

Paris was amazing. I had a wonderful time. It was so beautiful. Busy though. I don't think i've stopped the whole time i've been there. Disneyland was amazing also, got a mickey mouse teddy feel 6 again!! Many photos have been taken and there has been drama, but what do you expect when your with people 24/7.

I was sharing a room with two other girls and one moved rooms. I was glad she was pissing me off. At dinner she wasn't eating anything  (I know this sounds weird coming from me). She was saying that she didn't eat much at all. It pissed me off sooooooo much! I wanted to say to her if your trying to starve yourself your going about it the wrong way. Telling everyone is not what you want. She clearly wanted attention. Or am i just jealous that she hardly ate this whole trip and i was 'healthy' this week. She moved rooms because apparently she was being left out. I have no idea where that came from because i am not even good friends with the other girl any more.

I belive that my calorie average for being way was about 1300 calories. That is a healthy amount of food. That girl doesn't realise that if you want to loose weight you have to hide it. By eating healthy with week and bitching about her eating habbits, i don't think people have noticed mine. By being 'healthy' this week i feel as if i have finally gotten over my binging habbits. I don't feel like i am craving food anymore. That meaning i will be able to cut down quite a bit. So this week i have basicly ate breakfast some snacks through the day and i hardly ate dinner because it was shit. Well my stomache didn't like it very much lets say that. I haven't stepped on the scales from being home. I will have put on weight because i have ate a whole load of chocolate! I have now a massive ulser. It covers half of my bottom lip, it wreaks. At least this is an excuse not to eat!

What an idiot i am. I bought 2 very large bars of toberlone. I have managed to give one to the parents (last minute present) but i have ate about 5 parts of this one (aweful i know) i don't think anybody is going to take it so i guess it's just going to go out. I don't know what i was thinking when i was buying it. It was midnight and on a ferry, so i think i was a bit docile at that moment.

Hoildays the rest of this week, which means it is a great time to do intense exersice (burn all my 'healthiness' off) and skip things like lunch and breakfast. We have no food in the house as well so i won't be tempted. I will probably sleep till about 12 tomorrow anyways. I slept all day today as well. I hate travelling on the bus. It was the worst thing ever. I though i had severly injured my ass!

I haven't purged in about 2 weeks. I feel the urge coming. I will try not to. At least being away from home takes purging away from me. But being away from home means i try to be normal and i binge. Thats whats happened on my holiday in france. I need to face that fact.

There is still a road of me, i'm not going to look back on my mistakes. This binge has tought me a lesson, that is not to do it again ha. You learn from your mistakes. It's time to forget that one.

600 calorie limit until next monday. Then i will start the skinny gril diet. Until then, lets stay strong and keep it a secret!!!


That is me above at the effiel tower!

Bekah
xxx