Hate it when i don't get to decide what i eat.

114.2lbs this morning. Not bad lost 0.4lbs yesterday. Why do i feel disapointed? I was really hoping to see 113 this morning. Oh well, i know i can do it. Today might not be the day. My mother has already prepared dinner for tonight because she i working late. I am annoyed because i didn't get to say i didn't want that and get her to make me something different and more low calorie. It is curry. I know spicy foods raise you maltabloism, but it is full of calories. So after dinner which will be about 7:30, i will have to do so much exercise to burn it off. That ruined my plans because i wanted to exercise through the day today and revise for maths tonight. If i do lots of exercise and get most of the curry calories away i might just be able to get to 113lbs by tomorrow.

I have to say i feel great, empty. When i haven't ate and my stomache aches and i can't be bothered to move i know i am getting skinny. You don't get that feeling when your stuffed full. I love that feeling. It frustrates me because i can't tell anybody that, i would probably get commited. Thats why i'm writing it on here. It was on my mind.

I wonder how many calories are in a vegetable curry. I know there are 250 calories in rice alone. I am not eating it all, no thanks. I will eat like half. She will get me a huge plate, i can see it already. I don't understand why people eat things so full of calories and aren't disgusted by it. I was watching this programme 'Secret Eaters' last night and these fat people don't understand why they are fat. How insane it that! They would eat there evening meal and then have chocolate afterwards and the some ice cream. It makes me feel sick thinking about eating all of that without being forced to! I feel sick thinking about eating that curry tonight. I am so tempted to throw it out and say i knocked it on the floor or something. That would be really crule though, she has spent her morning making it. I'm not eating it all, i don't care what she says.

Under 600 calories today? I hope so....

Bekah
xxx

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