I just ate a chocolate cake. I cannot express the hate I have for myself right now. It's weird when you binge. Your like in between ana and normal. There is no way your normal because who eats a chocolate cake, Danish pastry, Kitkat and a twix in one sitting. But there is no way you are anorexic because you are just too fat. So in between, does that mean in between is obese? I think so. So therefore I am obese. I am a fat pig and I deserve to die. I am going to burn calories now, I recon 1000 will do.
Oh I didn't throw out my lunch today, I ate it like I was hungry or something... What a failure, such a weak failure.
Sometimes I wake up in the morning very strong minded about being strong and not cutting, no food no cuts. But then as the day goes on I will eat one thing and automatically think I must cut. Argh why am I so messed up!
Here's a picture of the fat disgusting obese me before I went out on Saturday and the cake I just ate, I actually feel sick looking at it
Bekah
Xxx
Is that an M & S cake? It looks like it.. if it is, then they are yummy and you are in no way to blame. I would have most probably crumbled too.. Also you look very lovely in that dress, where is it from? Your hair is gorgeous as well <3 I wish I had enough hair to curl mine :( And you are right about the whole in between thing. When I binge I kind of think to myself "I am so normal right now.." And then my alter ego is like "You are so anything but normal right now" PS. You dont look obese to me <3 Lots of love xx
ReplyDeleteHa yes it is! I did enjoy it when I was eating it but not so much now! Aw thank you, it's from republic. Aw thank you so much (: I'm sure your short hair is lovely (: <3
DeleteI'm so sorry... : /
ReplyDeleteEver since I got my period I've been so hungry and even after eating 230 calories of stir fry I feel like such a fat failure. But we aren't failures. We just need to work harder at it. I know we can do it <3
-Emma
I swear I'm getting mine too because I have such bad cravings! Stir fry is good food though, you shouldn't feel bad but I understand! I hate feeling like a failure after I eat something, it would be nice sometimes to have a treat and not feel like dying afterwards <3 xxx
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